When I first moved to New Zealand at the age of 22 I was more concerned about having a good time then my career or working. 5 years later, a couple of rungs up the corporate ladder and living and working in the UK I still have that nagging feeling in my gut that something just isn’t right.

During this time I’ve worked for a couple of different Fortune 500 companies and have observed some disturbing trends, as well as having gained some valuable insights into the true nature of big business and the effect it has on people.

In his book, Daniel Goleman talks about an emerging phenomenon of people in the 40’s and 50’s suddenly reassessing their lives, deciding what’s truly important and reordering their priorities.

New studies show, for example, a sharp rise in people’s altruism at midlife, a key sign of new priorities. Psychoanalysts now see this increased caring as the flowering in middle age of emotional development that begins in childhood.

Source.

The key phrase for me there is: ‘the flowering in middle age of emotional development that begins in childhood’.

My questions is; if this begins in early childhood and only starts to flower in middle age, in terms of emotional and spiritual development (don’t freak out, I’m not a hippy) what happens in our 20’s and 30’s?

Work Happens

If you work in an office I am willing to bet you know at least one ‘serious guy’. The person that:

·          takes their ‘supervisor’ or ‘champion’ role a little too seriously

·          The boss that sends emails from her laptop at 9 p.m. and thinks because she put’s in so many hours that her staff should be following her example

·          The guy at lunch that is totally incapable of having a discussion about anything other than work

Keep things in perspective

Do you want to be that person? Are you already that person?

When you work fulltime and are heavily involved in your job, it is easy to lose perspective of what is actually important in your life. Family and friends can easily slide down the list of priorities and trivial things can be blown way out of perspective. If you lost your job, would it truly be the end of the world?

I am self obsessed and so are you

Don’t get defensive, it’s true. It doesn’t mean that we can’t be compassionate, loving and interested in people, but the fact remains that we, as people, are primarily interested in ourselves.

The danger here then, is that people can easily fool themselves into believing that getting that report completed by Monday actually is important. That sacrificing time spent with their partner or children is an acceptable trade-off and ‘comes with the territory’.

Understand: your company does not care about you

I’m sorry, but it’s true. If you have a good work ethic then you probably try hard at your job and want to impress your boss(s). If you’re still with me at this point, I encourage you to answer the following questions:

·          How much power does your boss actually have?

·          Will they still be here in 10 years?

·          If so, will they remember and be grateful for all those extra hours you put in on the weekend?

·          Will they remember and be grateful in 6 months?

·          By working extra time and effort during the ‘hard times’, are you setting a precedent that people will come to expect from you all the time?

Decide what is really important in your life. Now.

My major concern with writing this post is coming across as preaching or being pretentious. OH LOOK AT ME!”$ I HAVE QUIT MY JOB AND YOU SHOULD TOO”$!”£. This is not my intention, for the record I don’t have a great deal of money saved to fall back on, or a business already setup. Yes I am scared of failure and concerned that any ventures I embark on may not succeed. (side note, if you seeing how I get on, I plan on tracking all my progress and documenting the steps I take on this blog)

Not trying is still failing.

The point is, by not backing yourself and giving it a shot you are still failing. The precedents are already set. The signs are there, they just need to be recognised.

Look at all the people that have been obsessed with their jobs, what happened 20 years later when they are made redundant? Do you think you are any different? If you continue as you are, in 20 years will you feel fulfilment or resentment?

On July the 17th .me domain name extensions became available to the public. .Me is the national top level domain for Montenegro. Since then there has been a frenzy for people looking to bag an excellent investment.

Most people however, don’t really care what country the .me represents so much as the fact that it has a great ring to it. Marketers have quickly identified the branding potential and have snapped up cheap purchases knowing there will later be a market for it.

Aaron Wall blogged about it which is how I found out about the .me extensions being available. It’s not even a month but I wish I had known a bit earlier.

If you’re in the market don’t despair though, most names are still available. I was looking through big american sports teams and many were not yet registered. The only downside is that they are more expensive then your standard .com or .org to register.

The two purchases I ended up going for were jobresume.me and freeresume.me for a project I’m going to start. Others that I considered were bodylangage.me and sc2.me. If you’re in the market for a new domain or fancy trying your creative skills to find a gem that hasn’t been taken yet then get cracking! :p

If anyone makes any purchases or finds any good ideas but don’t quite want to take a punt of them please post them in the comments.

If you don’t want to create an account you don’t have too. You can also embed songs to your blog!

Not bad at all.

Photo by Marcodede

Sharm El Shiek is an Egyptian city that exists purely because of tourism.

With the average wage for most Egyptian men (there are almost no Egyptian women in Sharm) being around a measly 60 - 100 USD per month, they inevitably turn to taking advantage of the tourists in order to make a living.

And they do it well.

The first night we arrived, we went for a walk in the market and were quickly accosted. The Egyptian sales method is cunning and very aggressive.

A little observation revealed a distinct pattern:

1. Friendly greeting - The salesman / scammer calls a friendly greeting towards you -”Hello my friend!” By ignoring this you are made to feel guilty and / or rude. The goal is simply to get you to respond, thus leading to….
2. The handshake - Once you’ve responded to a greeting the next step is to shake your hand and engage you in conversation. At this point it is even more difficult to disengage, the scammer knows this and will quickly follow it up with a series of rapid fire questions and comments all designed to gain small commitments.
3. Build rapport - Next the scammer will attempt to find out as much information about you as possible. Where are you from? How long have you been here? Etc. He will also take any opportunity to pay you (or your partner) compliments. The purpose being to ingratiate himself with you and burden you with a feeling of obligation.
4. Ask you to look at his goods - After you’ve gone through the first inevitable steps you are now at the point where you will be asked to look at his store. By this point you will be feeling engaged, obligated and predisposed towards the salesperson. A ripe target for buying overpriced junk.

Sam the Strategic Hustler

During the trip we couldn’t go anywhere without being constantly harassed. This left us feeling constantly on edge and unable to relax.

The hotel porters and cleaners were no different. They would be excessively friendly and helpful, but all with the ulterior motive of receiving a big tip. It felt like everyone was out to scam you.

The only different person was Sam. He was a well-spoken and friendly photographer and photoshop guru sitting near the entrance. His business was taking glamorous photos of guests and then photoshopping any blemishes and printing or putting them on CDs.

He was usually sitting at his PC and I would talk to him every time we walked past. Being a bit of a computer geek and football fan we instantly had things in common. I enjoyed his conversation and often asked him questions about the country and culture. Another thing I really liked about Sam was that while I asked him questions about his business, he ever tried to sell me anything and didn’t talk about his business, unless I first asked about it.

On our last night I decided it would be nice for my girlfriend to have a professional photo done as a keepsake of our trip and adventures. And I figured my good mate Sam would look after us with a sweet deal and I could leave him a generous tip for his kindness.

Sam quickly agreed and told us to get dressed up for the occasion and come down after dinner. I only wanted a photo or two but figured he knew what he was doing. Sam led us to various picturesque locations around the hotel and proceeded to take photos of us (in really stupid poses I may add, and no you’re not seeing the photos!) for about an hour.

After this we sat at his PC and selected the best photos, to which he worked his photoshop magic on. Another hour later he printed one off and burnt the rest to CD for me.

I magnanimously pulled out my wallet expecting to pay a certain amount, thinking I would generously give him double as a tip, reasoning that what I earn in an hour would be close to a week’s wages for him.

I’d asked him about his pricing before but naively did not discuss any sort of price beforehand and when he told me that it would be over 5 times what I expected to pay I was totally shocked.

The money wasn’t an issue. The price he was asking was still much cheaper then I could get the same service for in Australia or England. What sent me reeling was firstly, the feeling of betrayal, and secondly, the realisation that I had just been totally duped.

After some negotiation I ended up paying him about half of what he asked, not a great deal of money but still a very tidy profit for him I’m sure. That night I went to bed with a heavy heart, feeling like I’d been totally suckered.

Interpretation

With time, comes reflection. After the initial emotional reaction I began to think about the situation objectively. Eventually I began to see things in a new light and developed a great respect for Sam.

Whether or not we were truly friends was irrelevant - I was a tourist that would be leaving in 2 weeks, being friends was impractical. For a man in his position, becoming emotionally attached to a guests would be exhausting and counter productive.

The bottom line is that Sam understood psychology. He knew how his fellow Egyptians scammed tourists but he also knew that people quickly developed a resistance to this form of influence and for a lot of people the technique lost effectiveness after the first day.

Need for trust 

At home, most people are not used to being on guard for extended periods of time. Being constantly on edge and taking care not to be scammed, one becomes disproportionately starved for a relationship with trust.

Sam’s business was geared towards people - like me - wanting a keepsake at the end of their trip. He also knew that by this time, most people would be very defensive towards the normal method of influence.

Sam understood this basic human need for trust and companionship, by going out of his way to be helpful and friendly without asking for anything in return he clearly set himself apart from other Egyptians trying to hustle tourists. By biding his time and fulfilling this need for trust he effectively disarmed any sort of resistance and put himself in the perfect position to take advantage, on his terms. Best of all he made me feel like he was doing me a favor.

Understand: it is imperative to observe and understand your victim’s psychology. Any sort of extreme behavior will invariably have a pendulum effect - creating a great need on the other end of the spectrum, waiting for you to exploit it.

A month had passed since my last post and I began working on other projects, letting Nubtub slide lower down the list of priorities.

Until I finally received a positive comment on a post I was particularly proud of.

I suddenly found myself re-energised and inspired to continue writing. This is a pretty simple concept which is applicable to many areas of life and not just work, but it begs the question:

How can I use this knowledge to my advantage?

Actively seek feedback

You need to accept that with any new project you are going to have an initial burst of motivation that will eventually taper off. How you deal with this transition will have a massive impact on your success.

By acknowledging this fact, you can take steps to prepare for this lull and implement a strategy to manage your own level of motivation.

Success breeds success – ride the wave

I played competitive games online for over 6 years, during this time I went through many ups and downs in terms of performance. One observation I had was that when I was hot, I was hot.

When you start to win – at anything - you begin to find it easier to adapt and overcome small setbacks. Barriers to success turn into challenges, a problem for you to solve. A chance for you to shine.

Remember: it is harder to build momentum then it is to maintain it. If you find yourself on a hot-streak, milk it for all it’s worth and continue to challenge yourself.

Motivate your staff by giving them feedback

Conversely, lack of feedback runs hand-in-hand with de-motivation.
If you are in a position of leadership and someone in your team is working particularly hard, by failing to acknowledge this fact you are effectively telling them that you don’t value their hard work.

It is important to ensure that this feedback is genuine; people will know if you are being insincere and this may have opposite to your desired effect.

If you have a team member who is struggling or not doing well, you may need to spend some time thinking about what they do well so that you have some honest feedback to give them.

Give people a vested interest in your success

I recall one manager I had that just didn’t care; he often made excuses for not coming into the office and did his absolute best to escape any semblance of work or responsibility.

At first I thought it was great, I saw it as complete freedom and a rich opportunity to do what I liked, when I liked. I didn’t have a great deal of respect for the man and told myself that I didn’t care what he thought and was not fussed that he had no idea about any successes I had.

Eventually I started to become de-motivated and strangely upset by this lack of support. I was experienced enough to not need any help but what I wasn’t getting was my ego stroked and appreciation for my efforts.

This led to me resenting my boss and the company and I felt like no one cared about how much effort I put in. As a manager he failed catastrophically.

Despite my manager’s shortcomings, the ultimate responsibility for my de-motivation rested with me.

What I should have done was approach my manager and tell him that I needed more feedback. I should have made it clear to him that his success was directly linked to my success and found a reason for him to take an interest in my needs.

Figure out what is important to people

What my boss failed to do was to recognise what it was that motivated me. You cannot assume that everyone will be motivated by having their ego stroked but what you can assume is that everyone has an inherent need for their efforts to be acknowledged and appreciated.

Pay attention to people (and yourself) and study what makes them tick. Once you have discerned exactly what motivates them you can use this knowledge to your and their advantage.

http://www.blogcatalog.com/directory/personal/development_and_growth

I decided any customers that I liked, that greeted me warmly or were a hot girl, would not get their items rescanned. That I would pretend not to notice, effectively giving the item to them for free.

Warning bells

With so many beeps going off in front and behind you I quickly learned that the way not to get caught was to pretend not to notice miss-scanned items. The store security looking out for dodgy behavior from checkout operators couldn’t distinguish the beeps (or lack of) and would rely on reading the people and looking for nervous behavior.

I recall one girl in particular; she had a warm smile and was pleasantly engaging. I liked her immediately. For some reason an unusually high number of items were not scanning correctly.

And she noticed.

When she noticed, she looked me directly in the eyes; I could read the question on her face but waited to see if she would say anything.

She knew I was doing it on purpose.

I knew that she knew.

Neither of us said a word.

I’m no different from everyone else; there are people everywhere in positions with some responsibility making whimsical decisions simply based on how they feel about you.

Do you take the time to smile and say hello? You may get some free groceries.

Wow. This is an example of how the Internet changes everything. For so long we have lived with the belief that one man cannot make any real change.

We may say to ourselves; sure, Malcom X made a difference, Ghandi changed the world, but these kind of people are fanatics. They devote their lives to change, what can I really do?

With the advent of the Internet, the sudden overwhelming availability of information, one person can make a difference. Wikileaks is a great example of a group of driven, intelligent and Internet savvy people collaborating towards achieving a specific goal.

They want to stick it to the man

We believe that transparency in government activities leads to reduced corruption, better government and stronger democracies.

Justify it anyway you like. The fact is, corporations can no longer treat people like shit without fear of reprisal. Whether or not you would take action to air your company’s dirty laundry is a personal decision. The important point is that now, as an individual, you have the option easily available to you. You also don’t need to be a fanatic.

What if I got caught?

You may get caught. Depending on the severity of the information you may want to take added precautions. Who knows you have access to the information you want to expose? Can it be traced back to you at your workplace? If in doubt, send the documents via the encrypted link.

Is the information legit?

Good question. My dad reads a lot, one profound lessons he taught me is: just because it’s written does not make it true. As a teen it took me a long time to really internalise that belief and confront my own current beliefs.

My question to my dad was well how do you know if anything is true then? His reply was to read as many sources as possible and form your own conclusion.

One of the great benefits to Wiki however, is that the information can be analysed and interpreted by many credible sources. The power of the Wiki model is collaboration.

How will this affect things?

Who knows? I can’t wait to see though. It will be fascinating to see how governments and corporations will be affected, will they be forced to inherently change they way they operate? Will devious and underhanded tactics be reduced? Will the common man see a change in conditions, have more trust or autonomy?

One thing I do know though, is that Wikileaks is a great tool for a resourceful individual in need of some leverage.

Photo by gadgetgirl 

Part 1: Why you need to look out for number one

Part 2: Don’t work too fast

Part 3: Let the details tell the story

Part 4: Deflect envy

For my final instalment for this series I want to talk about letting people know what you’re upto. At work there are lots of great people around that I like and trust that I am dying to tell about my blog or reveal that I’ve spent the whole day sitting at my desk reading a book. I want them to know how clever and cunning I am.

But I’m not going to.

Why I here you ask. If I trust these people then surely it’s ok to let them know? Unfortuatly it’s just not worth the risk, people love to talk and a secret can soon become gossip. Also I’ve told one friend before that I fully trust and swore him to secrecy only for him to pass me in the canteen asking in a full volume voice ‘Yo Jackmo! Busy day updating your website today bro?’

While this may not be a deal breaker it is something you want to avoid. In my friends case he had no ill intent or malice in his comment, he was just making conversation and simply dropped the ball. Resist the urge to tell people how cunning you are and that you’re getting away with murder.

Don’t assume everyone will be as discreet as you want them to be - not everyone will be as cunning or well versed in the art of deception as you are. If it’s a friend that you trust you may want to slowly train them up and gradually open their eyes to your way operating.

Resist the urge to tell people how clever you are - if you really need to, go tell your friends or family outside of work, they will appreciate your tales of misadventure and at the same time you won’t be risking it getting back to your manager.

Destroy your evidence - all the previous considerations will be for naught if you accidentally leave your latest blog post outline printed and on your desk.

Don’t send emails from your work email address - also it’s probably not wise to update your website from work, better to write your post on paper or personal email and update from home. Note - I don’t adhere to this rule myself however.

Being a productive slacker can feel like a lonely road at times, but always keep the greater goal in your mind. At the end of the day you are the only one that will truly take into consideration your own needs. Considering it’s all we truly have, we spend a massive amount of time at work. And I can tell you that your company certainly dosnt value your time as much as I’m sure you do.

I’m not saying you should steal from your company, what I am saying is that if you’re smart you can meet the needs of your job as well as fulfilling needs that you ordinarily wouldn’t have time for.

Well I hope these articles have helped and I wish you luck with pursing your own interests on company time. Now get busy slacking!

Photo by w2awfil 

I trained at Telecom for two years and was with the company for about three and a half in total. During this time I trained around 200 people from their beginnings with the company and observed several trends. I recently read an excellent article about cognitive dissonance that resonated with me and got me thinking about the past. The basic premise of the piece was that person’s beliefs are changed – over time – by their daily actions.

The Customer Service Phone Rep

Inductions would range from two-six weeks of full time training, during this time a new employee would learn about the company’s values, products, processes and soft skills for talking to customers. Most people would come to the company believing that the company was a corporate money-hungry monopoly - but they didn’t care, they were there for the money. They would scoff at the idea of associating with the company. During this time I observed that people would follow 3 broad paths;

1. They would adapt, take on the beliefs of the company and actively support it, even in social situations.
2. They would retain what they perceived as negative beliefs about the company but continue to work there and spread dissent. This would affect people differently, one similarity however, was that someone continually doing something they disagreed with would result in a negative emotional state.
3. They would leave. After doing the job – for enough time to see if for what it is – they would realise that they could not, or would not want to put up with the job.

The majority of people were number 1’s. For the unfortunate number 2’s, the continual battering of daily incongruence between their actions and beliefs would put them in a weak or negative state of mind. Emotions would range from anger, anxiety, depression to resentment. This would spill over into peoples personal and social lives, at work the most advanced number 2’s that actively spread dissent were secretly despised by those around them. Not because they were bad or unsociable, but because they were always a drag to be around.

I came to realise that most people are number 1’s; they adapt to survive, usually for their own peace of mind. I have seen 1’s that are smart, stupid, thoughtful, articulate, sharp, all sorts. I have seen many close friends go through the transition and with a detached viewpoint, even myself. It could be months down the track, but eventually the staunch white-knight attitude is soon replaced with an institutionalized reformed-employee-of-the-month swagger. It is as if a switch just suddenly goes off, after someone goes through the motions of supporting a company long enough, their subconscious decides that it will be easier to change their beliefs then have their actions be in continual conflict with them.

How does this happen? How does a smart, talented, strong willed person have their beliefs so drastically changed? People with different backgrounds, beliefs and attitudes all found themselves eventually changing. The only consistent factor is that they all went through the same daily routine, encountered the same challenges and participated in a team environment with targets and goals, actions all intended to further the business.

Consider this situation; someone feels that it is unfair that a customer should have to pay $45 simply because they paid their bill late and need to have their line reconnected. Yet they have to – on a daily basis – tell a customer that there is nothing they can do and that the fee stands. “Those policies are there for a reason Mam, it’s clearly stated in your terms and conditions. Every year Telecom loses over $1000000 due to late payments.” If someone is saying this continually, even though it runs counter to their beliefs, how will that affect them? A common reaction would be feeling pity or sympathy for the customer, but what happens to a person taking 80 calls a day and even for 20 of those calls feeling pity, sympathy, anger or resentment and not being able to do anything about it? The result is that they will feel emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed by the constant barrage, perhaps even bitter about having to enforce it themselves. Eventually something has to change, and for most it is easier to change the beliefs then the actions.

The Consummate Seducer

Everyone has ‘one of those’ friends. The guy that seems to be able to attract any woman but no one knows why. He may not be particularly attractive, he can even be arrogant or intrusive yet it does not seem to matter. If you study the Consummate Seducer you will find that their personalities can be vastly different, they may come from totally different backgrounds and when quizzed as to the source of their success you will get lots of conflicting information. There is no simple trick or canned lines, but whatever they do, they all believe with total conviction that their method works.

So if the Consummate Seducer can have different backgrounds, methods and values, what is the common characteristic they share that makes them so influential with women? The simple answer; Their belief system. When asked, you will find that they all share similar beliefs, for example: that they are the prize, that women prefer to chase then to be chased, that women are attracted to men that have choice or come pre-selected by other women and that nice guys finish last. Another interesting factor is that they may not have always believed this. Most Seducers will have previously held traditional ‘nice guy’ beliefs and at some stage transitioned to their new belief system which has resulted in them becoming much more influential with women.

How does this happen? This is a question that I love to ask to all Consummate Seducers that I meet. Did you always believe this and if not how did you change? I recall one particular friend, he is younger then I am and very successful with women, despite (or perhaps because) being arrogant, crude and obnoxious. This is a guy that will openly tell a woman to fuck off yet it will only make her want him more. We were sitting around one night philosophizing talking about why nice guys finish last; we agreed that if a man chases a woman when he doesn’t really know her and is doing it only because she is attractive then this will turn her off. We agreed that a woman will value a man more if he takes the time to get to know her and makes her win his approval, not the other way around. This however, seems to contradict society’s standard beliefs on courtship and the behavior of most men, who will instantly try cater to an attractive woman’s desires mistakenly thinking it will win favor with her. My question was then, how did he change his perception and what caused him too?

His response was that after being burnt in a relationship when he was younger, he was forced to reassess his beliefs. He noticed the actions that successful men were taking and began to emulate them. Seeing the results and after doing it for enough time, his beliefs began to shift. He was still the same person, with the same values and personality but because he had – and lived by – the beliefs of a Consummate Seducer, this would shine through in his actions and women could not help but respond it.

The Gym Buff

Another excellent example of actions changing beliefs is exercise. I recall back to times when I have been consistently going to gym, usually with a friend. One trend I noticed is that when you are consistently exercising, your beliefs about diet, fast food and your own self-confidence all change. You start to think “if I’m spending this time and effort to improve my health then I should be taking my diet seriously, no point exercising then going and eating Macca’s straight after.”

So what exactly brought on this change? I wasn’t reading books on health or diet, certainly not finding out information on the fast food industry, so why did my beliefs change so much? In hindsight now, it is because I was going through the daily actions of taking care of my body and health. As I mentioned earlier, if there is incongruence between actions and beliefs then something has to change and beliefs are easier to change then actions. If someone consistently goes the motions that a health conscious individual long enough, it is inevitable that their beliefs will change to correspond with their actions.

So if true, how is this information useful? It sounds profoundly simple, perhaps it is. When talking about influencing people, Baltasar Gracian says that the truth is usually seen, rarely heard. Meaning most people will be influenced by your actions rather then your words. It certainly seems that no matter how much you tell yourself you want to change, no great changes take place until you consistently begin to take action. Can it be so simple to influence ourselves, taking simple action to change our beliefs and subsequently our behavior?

 Photo by mmlobster

The people in your direct proximity are your biggest danger of being discovered slacking, be it on purpose or inadvertendly. You cannot hold it against people for revealing your true game plan, they may not share the same beliefs as you. That energy is better spent learning from your mistakes and devising methods to fly under the radar.

When someone has it much easier then you it’s natural to feel envious. It raises all sorts of ugly and confrontational questions such as; Why do they have it easy and I don’t? Are they better then me? Am I getting a raw deal?

If it gets to the point that these questions are being asked then it’s already too late. As a successful Productive Slacker you need to wise to the beginning signs of envy. Recognising it will allow you to take steps to deflect it.

How then does one deflect envy? The following techniques are methods that I have successfully used to fly under the radar and ensure people don’t feel any desire to sabotage me.

Don’t brag - bragging about how you get to do nothing all day is a bad idea. You may think its great small talk how you’re sticking it to the man and how you’re not a chump. But what this is actually doing is highlighting the difference between you and your colleagues.

Don’t get defensive - being prepared and having a good cover story is crucial, however people can sometimes be persistent. If someone starts calling you a slacker in front of people or openly asks if you actually do anything then don’t get defensive. This will only make you look guilty. Better to laugh it off and make a joke, use their accusations to make their own question look ridiculous. You may say ‘Hah! Yeah I just love to sit and my desk and read reams of boring procedure documents, in fact I even do it at home on my weekends!’ When in reality you are really reading a book and planning another post for your blog.

Deflect with boredom - Have you asked a really boring person you know what they are upto and instantly regretted it? Endevour to be that person, under the right circumstances. I know this may not sit well with some people but boring the hell out of people may be one of the best methods for training them to stop asking you.

Continue to Part 5: Don’t tell anyone. Ever.